February 2011
January 2011
Vodka is gonna be my Valentine this year!
This feeling is not okay.
Expelliarmus
DAD: Ungardium leviosa, ladies!!
ME: Do you mean wingardium leviosa?
DAD: It’s levi OH sa, not LEVI oh sa
DAD: And by that I mean I booked the tix 4 HP land. watch out 4 expeliarmus @ college.
The Jersey Shore Prayer
Now I lay me down to rest; which tshirt do you like the best? My face is tan, my hair is high, grenades are falling from the sky. Got my gel, my face is clear; Let’s go bitches, CABS ARE HEAA!
Robots in Disguise
MOM: Stupid BB Torch keeps dialing the other Dwight I know, so I changed your Dad’s name to Optimus Prime. Would you like to be a Transformer, too?
That awkward moment
thatawkwardmoment:
when Ke$ha runs out of Jack and has to go back to using toothpaste.
